40 til 40 May 11, 2012 "Stuck in a Waterslide"

"I got stuck in a waterslide"

Ahhhh Kansas City. Gates BBQ, CoolCrest MiniGolf, and Worlds of Fun/Oceans of Fun. Its a great city just 3 hours away.

Back in the day, before Adventureland here had a water park, the best one around for the drive was Oceans of Fun. Worlds of Fun was sure a better park for the rides. . .One was able to go and do one, or both. Yeah I know Wacky waters by Davenport was cool, but its gone.

So, one summer day in 2000 I found myself at Oceans of Fun. I love a good waterslide. Oceans of Fun has some great ones. Tall slides, wave pools, lazy rivers, they got it.

I decided I wanted to get some exercise and travel up 4 flights of stairs and then hurl my big body down a water chute. 5 seconds of FUN!

Time to ride! The slide is a 2 shooter with a slide on each side of the life guard that goes straight down. The slides are connected in between by a little lattice wood piece. I line up, take a deep breath and assume the position waiting for the 19 year old kid to give me the signal to go.

"GO"

I take off. and 5 feet down the slide I am wedged in like a square peg in a round hole. I looked back at lifeguard kid and said, "STUCK." Now I give the lifeguard credit because quite easily he could have replied, "No shit." It probably looked odd as this large dude was stuck with his arms just flailing around. "try scooting" NOPE. I wasn't going anywhere

By this time I was holding up the line. It was growing. I thought I could hear a faint chant of "Free Willy."

Time for resolution. Lifeguard said--"Try to get to the middle."

Its funny what you think about when you are stuck 40 feet up in the air. "Is this how I die?" Is there anything soft to land on?" "Geez I am effing hungry." That does worry me when I do finally die. I don't want to see it coming. That anticipation sucks.

so here we go. Deep breath.

I rocked back and forth and popped myself onto the lattice. CREAK, CREAK, I slowly climbed to the top as the wood slats held out. I got to the top and apologized and thanked the dude.

"Next time I will lube myself up"